Fear of Flying: Why You’re Scared of Flying and What You Can Do About It

Have you ever found yourself worrying about a flight days or even weeks before you’re due to travel? Perhaps you’ve imagined the aircraft hitting turbulence, something going terribly wrong, or yourself having a panic attack with nowhere to escape.

By the time you arrive at the airport, you may already feel exhausted from worrying about something that hasn’t even happened.

I’ve worked with many people over the years who are confident, capable individuals in almost every other area of their lives, yet the thought of boarding an aircraft fills them with dread.

Some are frightened of turbulence or the possibility of a crash. Others are less concerned about the aircraft itself and more worried about how they might react once they’re on board. They fear losing control, having a panic attack or feeling trapped in a situation they cannot escape.

What I find particularly interesting is that many people begin frightening themselves long before they actually step onto the plane.

And often, they don’t realise they’re doing it.

Why Am I So Scared of Flying?

A fear of flying can develop for several reasons.

For some, it begins with a particularly turbulent flight or another frightening experience. Perhaps the aircraft suddenly dropped, or they experienced an uncomfortable sensation that made them feel vulnerable.

For others, there may have been no unpleasant experience whatsoever. Their fear may have developed through hearing frightening stories, watching news reports or simply imagining what could go wrong.

Our imagination is a remarkable thing. It allows us to plan, create, solve problems and anticipate future events. But it can also work against us when we repeatedly use it to picture frightening situations.

When we vividly imagine something threatening, our bodies can begin responding to that imagined situation. Our heartbeat may increase, our muscles tighten and we may experience the uncomfortable sensations associated with anxiety.

And because those feelings are real, the danger we’re imagining can begin to feel real too.

Are You Rehearsing Your Fear Before You Fly?

One of the things I often discuss with people who come to see me about their fear of flying is the way they mentally rehearse a disaster before it has happened.

Think about someone who has booked a flight three weeks from now.

Instead of simply acknowledging that they’re going away, they begin imagining what might happen. They picture turbulence, the aircraft suddenly dropping, an engine making an unfamiliar noise or themselves becoming overwhelmed with panic.

They might replay these scenes dozens of times.

Without realising it, they’re repeatedly practising a frightening version of the flight.

I sometimes explain it like this: imagine watching the same frightening film over and over again, except you’re the one writing the script, directing the action and playing the leading role.

It’s hardly surprising that the prospect of flying begins to feel increasingly uncomfortable.

The problem isn’t that you’ve had a frightening thought. We all have those. It’s the habit of repeatedly engaging with that thought, treating it as a warning and responding as though the imagined danger is already happening.

By the time the day of the flight arrives, some people have spent weeks anticipating a disaster that has never occurred.

Why Knowing Flying Is Safe Doesn’t Always Help

Something I hear regularly is, “I know flying is safe, but I still can’t stop being frightened.”

And that makes perfect sense.

Most people who have a fear of flying already know that commercial aviation has an excellent safety record. They’ve probably heard the statistics countless times.

Friends and family may reassure them that there’s nothing to worry about, but reassurance doesn’t necessarily change how they feel.

That’s because knowing something intellectually and responding to it emotionally are two different experiences.

Someone can understand that turbulence is a normal part of flying, yet the moment the aircraft starts shaking, their imagination takes over.

Suddenly, they’re listening to every noise, watching the cabin crew and interpreting unfamiliar movements as possible signs that something is wrong.

Some people even start researching aircraft accidents online, looking at frightening videos or reading stories about things that have gone wrong.

They may believe that gathering information will help them feel more prepared. Sometimes, however, this search for reassurance only increases their fear.

It’s rather like buying a yellow car.

Before you bought it, you probably didn’t notice many yellow cars on the road. Afterwards, you seem to see them everywhere.

The number of yellow cars hasn’t necessarily changed. What has changed is where your attention is directed.

Fear can influence our attention in much the same way.

When you’re frightened of flying, you may become particularly alert to anything that appears to confirm your concerns, while paying far less attention to all the flights that take place uneventfully every day.

Fear of Turbulence, Panic Attacks and Feeling Trapped

One important thing I’ve learned from working with nervous flyers is that not everybody is frightened of the same thing.

Two people can be sitting next to each other on an aircraft, both experiencing considerable anxiety, but for entirely different reasons.

One may be terrified that turbulence means the aircraft is in danger. The other may be frightened of having a panic attack, losing control or making a scene in front of other passengers.

For some people, the most uncomfortable part of flying is knowing that once the doors close, they cannot simply get up and leave.

They worry about feeling trapped.

And then something interesting can happen. They become anxious about the possibility of becoming anxious.

They start monitoring their heartbeat, breathing and other bodily sensations, looking for the first signs that panic might be approaching.

Of course, the more closely we monitor ourselves for signs of danger, the more likely we are to notice sensations that might otherwise have passed without much attention.

It’s a cycle that can become exhausting.

Understanding what someone actually fears is important, because helping a person who’s frightened of turbulence may involve a different emphasis from helping someone who’s frightened of panicking or feeling trapped.

How Can You Overcome a Fear of Flying?

The good news is that fear of flying is something people can work on and, in many cases, overcome.

But simply telling yourself not to be frightened rarely helps.

One useful starting point is to pay attention to what you’re doing in the days leading up to a flight.

Are you repeatedly imagining things going wrong? Are you looking for frightening information online? Are you checking how anxious you feel every time you think about flying?

If so, begin by recognising those habits rather than automatically following them.

When a frightening thought appears, you don’t have to argue with it, suppress it or spend the next twenty minutes trying to prove it wrong.

You can acknowledge it for what it is: a thought, not a prediction.

For example, if you find yourself imagining the aircraft experiencing severe turbulence, you might simply recognise, “I’m imagining something frightening. That doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.”

Then allow your attention to return to what you’re actually doing.

This isn’t about pretending that uncertainty doesn’t exist. It’s about learning that you don’t need to respond to every frightening possibility as though it were an immediate threat.

Another important part of overcoming fear is gradually developing confidence in your ability to experience uncomfortable feelings without treating them as dangerous.

For some people, this may involve learning to respond differently to the physical sensations of anxiety. For others, it may involve gradually approaching situations they’ve been avoiding, rather than allowing fear to make their decisions for them.

Approaches such as cognitive behavioural techniques and carefully planned exposure can be particularly helpful.

The aim isn’t necessarily to make every uncomfortable thought disappear. It’s to change the way you respond to those thoughts so they no longer have the same influence over your behaviour.

Can You Really Stop Being Scared of Flying?

I’ve worked with people who’ve avoided flying for years, others who only travel when absolutely necessary, and people who force themselves onto aircraft but spend the entire journey feeling frightened.

What they often have in common is the belief that their fear is simply part of who they are.

They say things like, “I’ve always been a nervous flyer,” or “That’s just the way I am.”

But a fear that has been present for many years isn’t necessarily a fear that has to remain forever.

The way we think, respond and behave can change, even when those patterns have become deeply established.

And sometimes the first step is simply recognising that the problem isn’t only what happens on the aircraft. It may also involve what you’ve been imagining, anticipating and rehearsing long before the flight begins.

You may have spent years practising being frightened of flying without ever consciously deciding to do so.

It is possible to begin learning a different response.

If you’re struggling with a fear of flying, whether it’s turbulence, panic attacks or the feeling of being trapped, you don’t have to continue approaching every journey with dread.

Understanding what maintains your fear is a useful place to start.